Merry Lamb Lamb on Vulnerability in Music, Exodus and Utopian Visuals - polyesterzine.com

Merry Lamb Lamb is the Hong Kong born, London based electronic musician creating an airy, atmospheric soundtrack for her experiences of solitude in the city, growing closer to nature and a melancholy journey of finding belonging. Lamb’s new EP Exodus features analogue sounds and vintage synthesisers, and is a fresh example of how the electronic music genre is expanding and bending today.

With tracks focusing on themes of disconnection from your environment and reality, Lamb is an example of how electronic sounds can evoke complex emotion - creating a wave of music that brings you into nostalgia and sentimentality. Lamb’s openness of personal experience within her music, conveyed via her trilingual lyrics as well as sounds, is for listeners who want to find comfort.

As well as her music, Merry Lamb Lamb has amassed an online following showcasing her personal style, self described as “unexpected, experimental, and future-forward.” Collaborating with brands such as Gucci and Acne Studios, Lamb is not stopping anytime soon.

I read that you grew up listening to Avril Lavigne and Belle & Sebastian - how do you think the tastes of your youth has influenced your music today?

It has definitely shaped my perspective on music. I used to listen to J-pop music when I was a lot younger. People like Namie Amuro, SPEED, and Perfume have opened my portal to music. They’re people I only see on TV, wearing Barbie-like clothes, dancing and waving at you with a smile and a wink. They’re utopian-like. And sounds that are like whips of magic. I used to be like that, enjoying the music without noticing how important it is to listen to honest music.

But then, a shift in my musical taste changed. I grew up in Toronto; I relocated there for school when I was 14. I desperately needed company, so I gravitated towards people like Belle & Sebastian and Avril Lavigne. I spent so much time alone during my youth days, I realised how essential it is to have a person to look up to, almost a shoulder to cry on when you feel weak and fragile.

I took that matter and put it into my music, where I want my music to feel honest and relatable. Sometimes, revealing more of your melancholy side is okay because it is part of your identity, and you should embrace it as a whole.

Being from Hong Kong, studying in Toronto and now living in London, how are these places integrated within your music?

From place to place, I always wanted to feel the most of it. And I got influenced a lot, too, especially when I was in a specific area for over two months. In Hong Kong, I was more stressed and intense. The city was always packed with anxious people, and I never felt relaxed or connected. Although I was born there, I always felt distant and weary. You can feel the intensity when listening to ‘Tranquility, a song based on how I felt about what home is to me. After being so far apart for almost ten years, I returned home to form Merry Lamb Lamb. I felt distant from it because I acted differently to others, culture-wise and personality-wise. The fear of belonging adjustment intensified as I lived in the city. There was a turning point when I started living in the most crowded area in Hong Kong, Shum Shui Po. I felt manipulated by the people around me. I almost felt like people were following me back home because the city was that opposed and breathless to me.

While studying in Toronto, I’m more relaxed but lonely. I was always in solitude, not knowing where I belonged, and couldn’t find my tribe. The bullying situation influenced me so much, which caused me to gain very low self-esteem and an uncanny willingness to trust someone entirely. In songs like ‘Empathy,’ I gravitate toward my melancholy journey of self-affirmation and belonging. It was almost a complaint to God about my whole life, with my knees bowed down. I was constantly drifting. I became easy on myself and felt every encounter in life was meant for a loss. I felt like I was never asking much, yet empathy seemed so far away and out of reach to me all the time.

And now, living in London, I feel like I am more ‘myself,’ London is a perfect balance between Hong Kong and Toronto. It’s not too crowded, but still very vibrant as a city. Where I’m living right now in Crystal Palace, there’s a beautiful lake near my home, and I always go there for a stroll when I need a break from work. I think my new music will relate to themes of being close to Mother Nature. It was never a subject I adapted before, but I felt connected to it after moving here for several months. I can’t wait to see how it will turn out.From place to place, I always wanted to feel the most of it. And I got influenced a lot, too, especially when I was in a specific area for over two months. In Hong Kong, I was more stressed and intense. The city was always packed with anxious people, and I never felt relaxed or connected. Although I was born there, I always felt distant and weary. You can feel the intensity when listening to ‘Tranquility, a song based on how I felt about what home is to me. After being so far apart for almost ten years, I returned home to form Merry Lamb Lamb. I felt distant from it because I acted differently to others, culture-wise and personality-wise. The fear of belonging adjustment intensified as I lived in the city. There was a turning point when I started living in the most crowded area in Hong Kong, Shum Shui Po. I felt manipulated by the people around me. I almost felt like people were following me back home because the city was that opposed and breathless to me.

While studying in Toronto, I’m more relaxed but lonely. I was always in solitude, not knowing where I belonged, and couldn’t find my tribe. The bullying situation influenced me so much, which caused me to gain very low self-esteem and an uncanny willingness to trust someone entirely. In songs like ‘Empathy,’ I gravitate toward my melancholy journey of self-affirmation and belonging. It was almost a complaint to God about my whole life, with my knees bowed down. I was constantly drifting. I became easy on myself and felt every encounter in life was meant for a loss. I felt like I was never asking much, yet empathy seemed so far away and out of reach to me all the time.

And now, living in London, I feel like I am more ‘myself,’ London is a perfect balance between Hong Kong and Toronto. It’s not too crowded, but still very vibrant as a city. Where I’m living right now in Crystal Palace, there’s a beautiful lake near my home, and I always go there for a stroll when I need a break from work. I think my new music will relate to themes of being close to Mother Nature. It was never a subject I adapted before, but I felt connected to it after moving here for several months. I can’t wait to see how it will turn out.

Your Instagram really showcases a really specific fashion point of view - how would you describe your personal style?

In my visual representation, I wanted Merry Lamb Lamb to appear as a whole: an anime-like and out-of-this-world creature. I want it to become almost utopian-like, allowing my audience to be in the clouds. In Merry Lamb Lamb, I want to experiment with a new style for her whenever she presents a different persona. I needed to experiment with new things because I didn’t want her to miss out on how different personas were revealed and how she reacted to them visually. The visual aspect of it really reflects what you do musically, and the visual aspect of it definitely adds a profound layer to your music.

What were your main points of influence for your new EP ‘Exodus’?

I think in ‘Exodus,’ I was in a healthier stage because I was willing to accept my confusion about my identity crisis and belonging more truthfully.  

‘Exodus’ was a continuous journey from where my first album ‘Genesis’ started. While I was writing ‘Exodus,’ there were moments when I felt extremely vulnerable because I was home a lot in quarantine and that made me think I had much alone time questioning life, where I’m living right now, and who I am as a whole. But most importantly,  I always asked God: praying and wondering. “What is next, God? Where is the next step or dream that you wanted me to achieve in life, and where is it?” All these questions always pop out of nowhere. And I know deep down they were not random thoughts that came out of nowhere; these were questions I’d been longing for, and I wanted an answer to them.

And one day, it came out of the blue. A vision came into my head: the story of Exodus. I remember it is a concrete image of Moses bringing everyone from Egypt to Israel to search for their new home and utopian dream. It became clear and destined where I wanted to have ‘Exodus’ as a theme and the name for my new EP. I was searching during that time for my life purpose and where my ultimate dream was.

‘Exodus’ to me is a fresh chapter to my artistic journey. I could adapt to a new music-writing approach and conquer my weaknesses. And I wasn’t only physically moving to somewhere new but also being able to accept how complex I am, without knowing what would happen through the haze, to have courage, and to move forward every step honestly and faithfully.

Did you have a specific process of songwriting for this EP?

I listened to much more club-oriented music during the writing process of this EP—especially 2-step and dance music. Listening to more dancey music made me feel more empowered about the future.

During the three-year buffer period of COVID, I shifted my way of making music. My partner Lung, my art director, also performs with me. We started to do many jamming sections at our home studio, used field-recording materials on my iPhone as samples, made drum loops on my TR-8S drum machine and found remarkable bass and synth lines to form the base of a song. Most of the songs from the EP, such as ‘Tranquility,’ ‘FOREVER,’ ‘Empathy,’ and ‘Who Am I’ were formed based on loops we did back then during jamming sections.

It is also where I started to become aware that I wanted my music to be able to ‘perform live’ and interact with it instantly on site. How dance music is structured is an open gate for me to experiment using a new view to produce music.

Making ‘Exodus’ made me realise I could capture a more surge and vulnerable feeling that I always wanted rather than what I used to convey, especially in my first album ‘Genesis,’ which is a more mellow and melancholic side of my past.  

Your music, visuals and even your name has a playfulness about it - do you think it's important to explore more playfulness in art, especially in electronic music?

Electronic music has so much potential to make it sound fun because the category is so broad and experimental. And yes, it is important to keep my art playful, especially in electronic music. And to me, my aim for Merry Lamb Lamb as a whole is to keep exploring and be bold with my music. I needed to experiment with new things, primarily since most of my music revolves around vulnerability and breakthroughs. Visually and sonically, I want her to try them all, just like what I wanted to convey in my piece: very bold and honest. It will take a lifetime for me to figure out what kind of sound I would love to convey next for my current mood and the message that I want to reveal, which is very exciting.

Words: Charlotte Amy Landrum | Photography: Yumi Laksa